Handling a Fallen Hero This Instant!

Fallen heroes.

I’m not talking about the true ones, the ones who sacrifice their lives. Someone who dies in the act of serving, like a firefighter, is a real fallen hero.

What I’m talking about is someone we look up to, for whatever reason, and they become our own personal hero. Perhaps a singer. An actor. An author. An athlete. Someone we don’t know personally, but someone we sure do admire. A role model snagged from the sphere of superstardom.

I know I have fewer of these than the average American. I’m not into pop culture. I don’t read the headlines or the tweets. I like musicians and athletes, yes, but I don’t, like, stalk anyone or anything. I don’t really “adore” anyone.

Well, except Aaron Rodgers.

So there. There is that someone I slowly elevated to hero status without realizing it. I mean, over the years since discovering his existence, I never was a true fan as true fandom is defined. Didn’t follow him on social. Didn’t count the hours down till his next game. Didn’t even know when he was playing or on what channel! I relied on friends and family for that info. Every fall at the start of football season, I enjoyed texts and posts friends sent me about Aaron. Among my people, I was known as his fan.

However, last month the whole vaccinated/lied/not-vaccinated thing went down. And suddenly everyone’s all up in arms about my guy.

In short, Aaron got Covid-19 and, as it all turns out, his statement going into the season—that he was “immunized”—didn’t mean he was vaccinated. Cuz he wasn’t. He never got the shot. He was doing a homeopathic treatment instead.

How do I feel about this, as an Aaron Rodgers fan?

Well, on the one hand, points for creativity, man. He never said he “was vaccinated.” He said he “was immunized.” The rest of the world took that and ran with it, doing all kinds of assuming.

Here’s the problem. Aaron didn’t try to correct those false assumptions. He walked around with the rest of the vaccinated players and avoided the protocols in place for unvaccinated players. Again, he was unvaccinated.

Ooof.

How’s a Rodgers fan to respond?

Welcome to my post. I’m trying to figure that out. I’m wondering what it means to look up to someone who lives in the world of fame and fortune and to watch them mess up. Aaron’s not the first. Don’t get me started on the countless leaders who’ve gone before him, from Christian pastors to renowned musicians to, sure, I’ll say it: politicians.

What’s the real issue when someone in the spotlight messes up? First we must consider what it is to mess up. In 100 percent of the cases I’m thinking of, “messing up” is a matter of morality. Of values and standards.

Aaron’s misleading statement, followed by the lie of his actions (failing to honor the unvaccinated player protocols) is a matter of morality. For fans disturbed by his actions, we are disappointed to discover… what? That he is capable of lying? No, that’s not the shocker. We’re all human and subject to the same temptations. What’s jarring is that he succumbed. He misled, and then he had no problem walking out a lie.

So, if morality at the heart of a hero falling, what does that say about us? Those who hold our heroes in high esteem? Is it that we expect perfection of ourselves and, therefore, of our heroes? Or is it that we know we are imperfect but, wow, our role models better not be? No one wants to put “meh” on a pedestal; what we want to aspire toward is goodness. Excellence. Fierce talent coupled with right living.

It would be easy in this moment to go Christianese on you and say, “We’re all human. Only Jesus was perfect, and so only he can serve as our true hero.” 

I mean, right? But where does that leave us regarding the men and women who live in the spotlight, excelling in their field, garnering our admiration and fandom?

For me, it comes down to our calling to walk an oh-so-fine line. Where, on one hand, we look up to our heroes and proudly assert our fan club membership status because, well, we’re proud of them! And, on the other hand, we release our grip a bit.

For me, with Aaron, nothing has changed. I mean, yes, I was disheartened enough about this whole not-vaccinated/living-a-lie thing that I had to write about it. But at the same time, he’s still Aaron. He’s still a great quarterback. I am not walking out the door of the room to his fan club party. Does that mean I am dismissing his actions and letting go of my standards for people in the limelight? No. Because, frankly, I never elevated him to super-human status in the first place.

Now, when a child is involved, things get more interesting. My responsibility as an adult ramps up. When a child in my life sees a hero of mine fall, what impacts him or her is not anything the hero did or did not do. The child is actually watching ME, and my response to The Fail. This is where I can’t get away with, “Oh, he’s just human! Fahgettaboutit!” I also can’t get away with, “What a jerk. Never again will I watch a Packer game or utter the name of that No. 12 guy.” 

Because, guess what. Children don’t look up to famous people. They look up to the adults in their lives.

It’s our reaction to our fallen heroes that children remember. Yes, it is a fine line, and yes, it is possible to walk. It starts with getting real with ourselves first. We must ask, “How do I feel about this person's failure? Why?” Next, we must make terms with it and have a heart-to-heart conversation with the child. In that conversation, it’s okay to express disappointment or whatever our feelings may be. Finally, we must live out the very example we want our children to follow. We must be the hero.

The most important set of eyes will always be on you. Not on Aaron or whomever your Aaron may be. Just you.

“Therefore … let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith… Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” – Hebrews 12:1-3 (NIV)

“for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” – Romans 3:23 (NIV)

“But where sin increased, grace increased all the more.” – Romans 5:20 (NIV)

Keep Us from Grace This Instant!

The definition of grace freaks us out. Being given something we don’t deserve? Not us, we are Americans. We work hard for our quality of life, our perks, our blessings.

We’ll take gifts on our birthday, or Christmas. That’s because it’s common practice to receive gifts on those days. It’s expected.

Every other day of the year we have filters. Did we do something to earn something? Then we’ll receive it. Did we work overtime? Then we’ll splurge. Did we tap into a talent or skill that brought a valuable return? Then we’ll accept it. Because when we somehow have a part in something good, we can rightfully claim it.

But grace …

What is it about grace that makes us squirm in our seats? Even bolt out of the room?

Grace as grace is offered regardless. It does not know the words “deserve” or “earn.”

Grace doesn’t make sense.

Grace from anyone else, from ourselves, from God. Grace is so slippery we don’t even want to try to grasp it. Just let it slide on by, please. Hurry along to the next person. Grace is nice for others, but not for us. It may bless someone who’s in dire straits, but not us. We are strivers, thank you very much. And we’d like to keep it that way.

Plus, grace throws everything off balance.

Grace from others:
We may receive it a time or two, but we can see the scoreboard in their minds. We will owe them.

If this is our perception of grace, we are mistaken.

Grace from ourselves:
We may flirt with it a time or two, but we certainly can’t be regular with it. Too much grace could ruin us. What if we cease to remain responsible adults, turning instead into sloths?

If this is our perception of grace, we are mistaken.

Grace from God:
Sure, He can find it within Himself to pardon our giant sin of unbelief and grant us eternal salvation when we place our trust in Him. But that’s it. Grace for the hundredth time we fall helpless to our addictions? Grace for the millionth time we put ourselves ahead of our loved ones? There’s no way that kind of grace is real.

If this is our perception of grace, we are mistaken.

What if you’re hiding behind the idea that grace is incomprehensible, and therefore you avoid it? What if, simply because you’re more comfortable striving and earning your way through life, you’re suffocating your own soul, living at half-mast?

What if you threw your sense of checks and balances to the wind, and instead got swept away by the breathtaking rhythms of God’s abundant grace? What if you fell into grace like you fall into love … uninhibited, terrified, exhilarated, full of wonder?

What if grace became the undoing of you … in the safest, most loving place you’ve ever known? What might happen then? 

“… it is good for the heart to be strengthened by grace.”
Hebrews 13:9

“… and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only son from the Father, full of grace and truth.”
John 1:14

“… from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace.”
John 1:16